Opposites Attract: Ten Years & Counting

My husband and I recently celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary. Ten years of wedded bliss. Actually, I’ve used a new iPad app to determine exactly how many of our 3,650 days together have been blissful and how many  – not so much.

Our results:

Ten Years. That’s a long time for two people with well-documented commitment issues. We’ve had our ups and downs and have the bumps and bruises on our love to prove it.

Overall, it’s been a happy, laughter-filled road to ten years. But I don’t have anything concrete to compare it to. I could compare ours to our family or friends’ marriages, but who really knows what goes on in a marriage? And comparisons burn my ass every time.

While my husband and I are similar in many of the areas marriage experts say really matter:  mutual love and affection (at opposite times of the day), shared values (laughter), strong commitments (in-patient and out-), similar money styles (cheap), compatible sex drives (at opposite times of the day), and intense love for our children (when they’re asleep), our differences can be summed up in this exchange:

Me:  What happened to the silverware?

Mike:  I moved it. It’s now in the drawer nearest the phone.

Me:  Huh?

Mike:  We needed a change. I’m shaking things up a little!

Me:  What? Messing with the silverware is your idea of “shaking things up?”  What’s next – unpotting the plants? The silverware was fine where it was!

Mike:  I’m a renegade, honey. I thrive on change. Wait until you see the family room!

Where Mike embraces change, even seeks it out, I resist, fight and usually, after some drawer slamming and angry muttering, come around. Actually, the silverware works well by the telephone. The family room redesign – not so much.

Although we expertly push each other’s buttons, mostly we laugh, value each’s contribution to our family and love the bee-jeezus out of each other and our kids. And then we laugh some more.

At a recent wedding we attended, Mike and I considered whether we would want to be newly married again, our entire lives together in front of us. We decided not unless we could begin with all the hard-won wisdom we’ve gained over the past ten years.

We’ve walked through a lot together, and we both give as good as we get. On our recent anniversary getaway weekend, Mike told me that he understood going in to our marriage that I was going to be a pain in his ass. And that he was going to be a pain in mine. That we both deserved exactly what we got. And we both couldn’t have made a better choice. I think that’s romantic.

And, yes, I would do it all over again. Would you?

“He’s my baby

And I’m his honey

Never gonna let him go.”

John Prine, In Spite of Ourselves

And The Award Goes To … Me!

Congratulations are in order … so bring ’em on! I am now the proud recipient of a distinguished Kreativ Blogger award, my first blogging award ever! A big thank you to the lovely, talented and hysterically funny Kristen of Abandoning Pretense for nominating me (that she has supurb taste goes without saying!).

I’m thrilled and honored and as anyone who knows me could guess, also a little uncomfortable. You see, I have an insidious habit:  I crave, long for and lust after kudos and recognition of any sort, yet once I receive any, I’m eager to kill any joy I experience. I call this charming tendency, Joy-Busting.

Here’s how I do it … cue the nasty little messages in my head:  (So we’re clear, I’m only doing this for your edification.)

  • This is the dumbest award ever; it’s essentially a chain-letter in disguise.
  • Everyone knows this award is a joke and is laughing behind my back for being excited about it.
  • I don’t deserve this.
  • I have nothing to wear.
  • I don’t have time to answer all these questions about myself and figure out how to put the award button on my blog.
  • I’m better off if I just stop blogging altogether and clean the kitchen floor or watch a repeat of  The Good Wife.

See how that works? Good. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I’d like to try on some new behavior. Instead of downplaying this award, I’m gonna rock it!

www.millionlooks.com

Here’s What I’m Wearing To The Awards Ceremony

Here’s What I’m Wearing To The Award After Parties

Here’s Who I’m Bringing To The Ceremony

Here’s Who I’ll Be Leaving With (Is That Wrong? Hmm… Exactly How Wrong?)

Thanks for that. On to my award …  Here’s how the Kreativ Blogger Award works:

The Rules

  1. Thank and link back to the awarding blog.  (see above)
  2. Answer seven questions.  (see below)
  3. Provide 10 random factoids about yourself.  (I didn’t think I’d come up with any, came up with 23 and am sharing 12. See below.)
  4. Hand the award on to 7 deserving others.  (I don’t share well so I’m contemplating skipping this part. Cue Random Fact #7 below.)

The Questions

What is your favorite song? I am clueless about music and have zero musical taste. That said, Johnny Cash’s A Boy Named Sue is a current fav cause my girls and I laugh whenever we hear it. I also love most any song by John Prine, Donna the Buffalo, Adele and the late Jimmy Dale Gilmore.

What is your favorite dessert? Anything I can mainline; chocolaty and rich preferred.

What do you do when you are upset? I cry at the drop of a hat. When I’m angry, I’m a big screamer and pillow beater. I have taught my kids how to scream to release anger and sometimes we do family screams, holding-hands style (be glad you’re not our neighbors). Check back for an upcoming series of posts I’m writing on this!

Which is your favorite pet? I love dogs, the smaller and yappier, the better. And monkeys. Perhaps a turtle.

Which do you prefer white or whole wheat? Whole wheat, baby! I’m mostly a healthy eater and carbs, cashew butter and cheese are my favorite food groups.

What is your greatest fear? That my daughters will grow up as co-dependent as I am. Is that fear good enough? Does everyone still like me? And rodents.

What is your attitude mostly? What’s with all of these insipid questions? My natural state is cranky, controlling bitch. (Surprisingly, my husband just volunteered to attest to this “factoid.”) I think I hide it well.

Ten Random Facts About Me:

  1. My current claim to fame is having sex with my husband in a Macy’s stairwell. This award is a close second!
  2. I’m a consummate eye roller. And I’m raising a second-generation, gifted eye roller.
  3. My favorite smurf is Grouchy and favorite dwarf is Grumpy.
  4. I adore my kids and often wish I could put them back in the toy box until the next time I want to play with them.
  5. I aspire to be high-maintenance and a diva. I think these characteristics would look good on me. (Again, my husband has  volunteered to attest to this aspiration.)
  6. I’m addicted to Sport Tea and hoard gift cards and store credits.
  7. I’m terribly competitive, don’t share well and tend to have what I call a Grinchy Heart.
  8. I love Improv and have taken several classes with the inimitable, award-winning Improv teacher, Jimmy Carrane.
  9. At times I can see myself as charming, funny and adorable. Other times, not so much.
  10. I’m co-authoring a series of children’s books with my writing partner who pens the brilliant, insightful blog, Outlaw Mama.
  11. I own a red, tandem bicycle and a blue mountain bike – combined mileage = + or – 10 miles.
  12. I come from a long line of Martha Stewart clones and don’t have a cooking, decorating or sewing gene in my body. And no, I don’t have any feelings about this at all, damnit. I don’t want to talk about it. I’m planning a future post on this also.

The Next Seven Recipients of the Kreative Blogger Award

I adore all of these blogs and their authors.  A couple of these aren’t aware of my respect and admiration as I’ve been more of a stalker secret admirer. Please visit them and show them some much-deserved love!

http://www.outlawmama.com

http://www.marciescudderphotography.com

http://theallergistmom.com

http://fiercedivaguidetolife.typepad.com

http://ohsheglows.com

http://mominthemuddle.com

http://www.handsfreemama.com

Cue the orchestra, my acceptance speech is running long … thanks again, Kristen!